Life is not guaranteed. The only sure thing is death. Hopefully I live to be 103 like that Facebook quiz estimated I would, but that may not happen. The hard part about thinking about no longer being here is Gracie. What about all the things that I am supposed to tell her. What about the motherly advice that she will never get if I am not around. So after lots of brainstorming, thinking, and a few tears, I came up with a list of the things that I want to teach her. The really important things, the ones that you want to teach your daughter so that she has the life you always dreamed about for her. This is not EVERYTHING that I would like to tell her. This is just the ones that I can come up with right now.
Words of Wisdom for Gracie:
- Be Generous
With your time, your money, your heart. If there was a single lesson I could hope to impart to you, this would be it. Being generous will teach you more in the long run than I ever will.
-Remember how far you have come
You have had to fight more battles as a three year old, than most people fight their entire life. Do not forget that strength. When things seem too much to bear or it all seems hopeless, remember that you fought against all the odds just to be here. Even as a child you are so strong and have come so far from that 1lb 11 oz baby that I barely got to lay my eyes on before she was swept away to the NICU. I told myself at that moment that you would be okay, and I continue to tell myself that now. You have the power to change the world and you will.
-Love God
Follow God, go to church, learn from the bible. Invest everything in Him, it is all that will matter in the end.
-It is okay to be "too nice"
Yes, being too nice can get you hurt more often, but with great risk comes great reward. You will love deeper and feel more. You will change peoples lives by being nice to people. And it is not always easy, but when it comes down to it, it is right. So when faced with a decision on how to treat people, just be nice.
-Pray
Pray when you are happy, sad, or angry. Pray to ask for help and pray to thank Him for the help he has given. Pray for strength and pray for other people. No matter what, PRAY!
-Know your morals, what you believe in, and never compromise on that
You have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything. Do not let down the boundaries on your morals for anyone. Not your spouse, your friends, money, pleasure, fun.. Nothing is worth it.
-Be involved
I will teach you from early on, but just in case... Be involved, play sports, go to camps, join in activities. Be on the yearbook committee, the prom committee, in dance or gymnastics or soccer or softball or all of them!! And know this, if you start it, you will finish it.
-Take pride in your appearance
-You are beautiful
God said that he made all things beautiful. That means you. No matter your weight, hair style, or make-up, you are beautiful. Inside and out.
-Watch sunrises and sunsets
It will remind you that we are all a miracle of God's design.
-Do not use modern technology for conversations that need to be in person.
If you want to break up, cancel plans, admit a failure, apologize and so on, do it face to face. Text messages and emails are not outlets for this and can make things worse.
-Recognize talent
If a street performer makes you stop and look or take a double take, you owe them a dollar.
-Keep secrets people tell you
-True love is not a fairy tale
You are always a princess to me, but the rest of the fairy tales are just that... Love is not just fate. Love is work. Love is hard. People change, life changes, hearts change. Work hard.... Give 100%. Never say that marriage is 50-50, because it is more that that. And even the best of loves have fallen apart.
-Pay Cash
Financing is going to cost you, so if you can, pay cash. I know sometimes financing is the only option (houses for example) but if that is the case, be smart about it.
-Homeless people and beggars that you see on the side of the road are people also
Do not pass them up without giving them something (unless you feel unsafe). You do not have to give them money, you can give them food, or a goodie bag made just for them. If you truly have nothing to give, make sure and give them a smile. How horrible it must be to be so trapped in your addiction that you have lost everything. Your smile and kindness may be all the happiness they see that day, week or month. People will question why you are giving them things, and they will try to tell you that they are just going to just spend it on drugs or alcohol. You just tell them that what they do with what you give them is what they will answer for in the end, you will only be judged on the choices you made, and your choice was to help someone you saw in need.
-Always buy good tires and tennis shoes.
-Know how to use basic tools, be proficient with them, and own some!
Never have to need help doing things like putting together a shelf or fixing little things around the house. I want you to be able to do it all own your own. You should never have to be dependent on a man to do these things. It makes your life so much easier if you can do some of your own DIY stuff!!
-Bullying is wrong
It is not enough to not be a bully, that is easy. The hard part is not letting others bully someone in your presence. Stand up for yourself, but most importantly stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. Not everyone has a mom that will be trying to give them the confidence level I want you to have. If you stand by and let it happen you are just as guilty as the bully themselves. The only exception to this rule is your safety. Please use your best judgement about this. A bully is usually just a person that has been hurt and that learned this behavior from someone in their life.
-Chase dreams, not people
If someone does not want to be a part of your life, then let them go. But never let go of your dreams.
-Do not let fear control your life
Just because something is scary, does not mean you should not do it. I want you to be one of those girls that people know can do anything they put their mind to.
-On holidays, especially birthdays, showers, and Christmas, buy gifts.
I do not care how much you do not know about the person, do not buy a gift card or put their gift in a gift bag. The art of unwrapping presents is going away, but it is just so much fun! Be the person that still offers that.
-Respect the cops
Do what they say. If you disagree with them, now is not the time to take it up with them. They have guns, tasers, and pepper spray.
-In the event that you HAVE to fight.... Go all in baby girl. Do not throw the first punch, but make sure you throw the last one.
-Know the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem
And stand during them both. Patriotism is a dying art that we need more of.
-Be knowledgable about politics
Politics are important. They will determine so many things about your life that you do not even realize. I will teach you my side as you grow, but ultimately the choice of your political party is up to you. Just make sure and take this advice: DO NOT vote for a candidate just because he/she is the same party as you. Make sure you look at what they stand for. Do not vote or not vote for someone because of their color or gender. Do your research on the candidate and never believe 100% of what any of them are saying. Expect them to follow through on their promises and question when they do not. Watch the news. Read the paper. Only believe half of those past two items. Remember that a lot of people can be bought and that politics is not an honest job. Also remember that small politics are a lot different than the big ones. Some small time candidates are only there because they really do have the best interest of the town or county at heart and they want to help. Political campaigns are great ways to get some volunteer hours (which you will need when you apply to med school). Volunteer with them and pay attention to what is going on around you. You will learn a lot that way.
-Volunteer
Always look for a way to volunteer and do it just because you want to, not because you will need the hours when you apply to that Ivy League School. Find a cause that means something to you, research the best outlets to volunteer with them and then do it! You can volunteer at one place for 8 hours or 8 places for an hour a piece. It can be an organization or just something that you plan all on your own.
-Do not litter
Sometimes it is easier, still is not right. Do not do it.
-Always sit in the front of class if you can
It shows that you are interested in what you are about to hear.
-Sew
You may not be a seamstress, but knowing how to sew can help you more than you realize. Add it to the list of things that you can do without needing someone else's help.
-Take care of your body
It is the only one you have. Do not drink sodas and do not eat a ton of fast food and junk food. You will be surprised the difference it will make as you get older. Workout, don't over indulge in alcohol, NEVER do drugs and DO NOT smoke. Go to the doctor for regular checkups. Following those rules will help you be much healthier than others your age when you get older. And just because someone looks healthy on the outside does not mean they are on the inside. So when someone says " Well I do not eat right and exercise, I am just fine" you should not believe them! This also includes your eyes and your teeth. Always get your eye and dental exams and do what the doctor or dentist says. Floss daily and brush at least twice.
-Medical professionals are still just human
And being a human means human error. They are doctors, that does not mean that they are better than you, just that they have a degree in that career field. So even though I say to do what the doctor tells you, always pay attention to what your body tells you. If you feel the doctor is wrong, question them. Get a second opinion. Get a third opinion if you think you need it. When you were born one of the doctors told me that you would probably never walk or talk and that you would be possibly blind or deaf. Yet, here you are, perfectly healthy. Also make sure that you like your doctor and feel comfortable around them. Nothing helped me more while you were in the NICU than knowing that I could reach out and talk to the doctors.
-Take care of your skin
Wear sunscreen, moisturize, and wash your face every single night... no matter what!
-Live your life saying "I am glad I did" instead of "I wish I had"
-Try not to interrupt people when they are speaking.
It is rude and can hurt their feelings. To me, being interrupted means that you are not even listening to what I am saying.
-Learn to drive a manual transmission
-Grammar is important
Please remember this. I do not care if you are talking to a teacher or texting your friends, please try your best to have good grammar. There will always be typos and mistakes that you may overlook, but if I see a text message, note, email or thought bubble from you that looks like this " Hay, R we goin to store n get sum food" You will not want to know what I will do to you! I know your friends may type like that to you, because some of mine do, but that does not mean that you have to do it also. Develop good habits by always using the best grammar you can. Pay attention in english class, those rules will help you.
-Tip
You should almost always tip. Even if the service is subpar. Even if they are downright rude, still tip them. If they are awesome, tip them more!
-You will not get everything you want
You will lose sometimes. It is a part of life. Deal with it and move on.
-Anything worth having is worth working for
If you want something bad enough, you must work and sacrifice and then work some more. No one is going to just hand you your dream on a silver platter. It takes dedication, it takes motivation and it takes time. Things are only worth the time it took to get them.
-Do not be afraid to say no
"No" is hard to say sometimes. I know from personal experience, but just know that you are not less of a person because you do not want to over extend yourself and commit to too much. And you are not less cool because you say no to drugs or alcohol. And you are doing the right thing if you feel uncomfortable doing something so you say NO. No is an important word and I want you to know how to use it.
-Celebrate your birthday.
The day you were born was the best day of my life and as long as I am around we will always do it big on your birthday. You may not get the most expensive presents or the largest party, but you will always know that the day is about you and you should always continue that! Plan something every year that you want to do!! As long as I am around and able I will try to help it all come true! Also make other people's birthdays special.
-You can handle more than you think
Sometimes you will feel overwhelmed at a crazy schedule or a to-do list that seems too long, but just know that with proper time management you can do a lot of things, even when it may not seem possible. Remember, everyone has the same amount of hours in the day. Look at what some people have accomplished in those twenty-four hours.
-If you offer to help, do it
And do not quit until it is done
-Do not be afraid to fail
And do not let failure define who you are. There are so many stories of people who were told they were failures and you will only know them as superstars. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper by an editor because he lacked imagination and creativity. Think of all the world without any Disney and imagine how it had been if he had given up because of that critic and that failure. Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts at making the light bulb before he finally got it right. The list goes on and on. You can look up stories of people like Michael Jordan, Henry Ford, RH Macy, Bill Gates, Darwin, Socrates and Churchill. Abe Lincoln was defeated in many runs for public office, Oprah was told that she was unfit for TV, and Fred Astaire was told her could not sing or act. There is a book by Stephen King titled "Carrie" that is now very popular and has been used to make multiple films, he once threw it away because it received thirty rejections. His wife dug it out and told him not to give up. Even Jesus fell at Calvary, but he got back up and continued doing God's will. So, you see, a failure is just a stepping stone. Just keep trying, keep fighting and never give up. Listen to wise words from Babe Ruth when he said that every strike out just brought him closer to his next home run. Ask your father how many times he had to take his paramedic test before he passed. If you fail at something, step back and take a different approach.
-When wearing pantyhose or tights, always have an extra pair
- Listen to Music
All music. I know you will want to hear all the new popular music with your friends, but please listen to the old stuff too. Classic country, classic rock, the old jazz and blues. Hank Williams Sr will soothe your soul sometimes when pop music will not, and you will be amazed how well Patsy Cline can relate to a heartbreak. Listen to Ella Fitzgerald and the Beatles. Freddy Fender and Dirty Dancing Soundtrack. Listen to small time artist that are trying to make it, and listen to Texas country. A girl should always have a wonderful collection of music.
-Sing
When you are listening to the above mentioned music, SING. Do not worry if your voice is not the most beautiful, I promise it will be the most beautiful to me and someone somewhere will gain something from hearing you sing. When you were in the NICU I sang to you when words would not form because of how bad my heart hurt. I sang Survivor from Reba. And still to this day, years later, my off pitch and out of tune voice singing that very song will still stop your tears and and bring you into my arms for a hug. I hope that never changes!
-You do not have to have the nicest stuff, but make it the nicest you can
You do not have to have $200 shoes, but make sure your $10 ones are nice and polished. A Walmart shirt is fine for a job interview, but make sure it is just as clean an ironed as the person wearing one from a much pricier store.
-Less is more
Especially with makeup and perfume.
-Do not be a sore loser.
Learn from the loss and move on. Just work harder next time.
-Time alone is time well spent
Be comfortable being alone. You should be your own best friend.
-Express all your emotions
But do it carefully, because words can not be unsaid once you have said them. You are so young now that you have not yet begun to feel the overwhelming amount of emotions that you will experience throughout your life. Its okay to feel them all. When you are happy, dance and sing and shows the world. When you are sad, cry and sulk but only for a brief time. When you are angry, vent those emotions and then move on. The good emotions are made all the better because we have experienced the bad. All of them will make you the person that you will become.
-Go to concerts, sporting events and festivals
Even if you have to sit in the cheap seats and pack your own snacks to save money. Go anyway! Experience these things!
-Clean
Yourself and your house. Always keep your dishes done. You do not want people coming in and seeing dirty dishes piled into your sink.
-Listen to peoples advice
You may not agree, but at least take it into consideration. Most of the advice that I can give you comes from my lessons and mistakes that I have learned over the years. I know sometimes you just have to find out for yourself, but if I can save you any heartache that I went through I really will try!
- Being cute does not mean always being uncomfortable.
If you do not feel comfortable in a 4 inch heels, you can be just as cute in tennis shoes! Beauty is in your confidence. If you feel pretty, you will project that on to people!
-Have table manners
This is something that a lot of children are not taught anymore, but I will teach it and I will enforce it. No elbows on the table. Do not smack. No talking with your mouth full. Place your napkin in your lap. Sit up straight. Remove your chewing gum before arriving at the table. Do not eat until after the prayer and everyone is seated. Never reach across the table. Ask politely to be passed something if it is too far away. No hats at the table. Do not use your cell phone at the table. Always ask to be excused before you get up. Table manners are a dying piece of ettiquete that I want you to still be aware of. It does not matter if you are at Mcdonalds or the White House, please always use your best table manners. If you want to eat messy food and use your fingers, do it at home in your pjs with me or your best friend.
-Forgive people
People will do bad things to you. They will betray you, lie to you and hurt you. That is just part of human nature. It will suck, and you will be angry. Forgive them anyway. You gain nothing by holding a grudge. Sometimes people make mistakes and hurt you without actually meaning to. They are only human. Compassion and forgiveness are so important.
-Be careful of body modifcations
If you do want a tattoo, make sure it means something, and think on it for a month before you go get it. Try to keep it somewhere that can be covered for a job. Let's try to avoid doing things to our body simply because it is cool or because everyone else is doing it.
-Remember one of the only things fairy tales taught us that is true... Good does always win over evil.
It may not always seem like it, but it will. If good has not won yet, then the battle is not over yet.
-Remember the life lessons
Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. If someone hurts you, forgive them, but be careful about giving them the chance to hurt you again. If someone lies to you, be a little more cautious at believing things they tell you. Make them earn some trust back before things ever go back to normal. The same goes for your own mistakes, learn from them or they were a waste of time.
-Do not be lazy
Get up, do stuff. Clean your house, plan stuff, move around.
-Have lazy days
Do not be a lazy person, but have lazy days. Take a day to do nothing. Watch movies, eat junk, nap. Trust me, your body will thank you.
-Hold the door for people
-Use please, thank you, and excuse me EVERY SINGLE DAY
-You will have your heart broken.
It will break more than once. It will break when you lose a family member to a death, it will break when someone you thought was a friend betrays you, and it will break when something you have worked so hard for does not work out. Funny thing about a broken heart is that it keeps beating, the sun still comes up and so must you. Forgive the people who broke your heart, even if it was yourself, and move on.
-Remember what that heartbreak felt like
You will probably break someones heart one day also. Be gentle.
-Always have a few awesome recipes
There will be times in your life when you will be entertaining new guests. Use these amazing recipes and wow them with them!
-Never go to bed or leave someone when you are mad
It may be the last memory you have of that person. Make up and apologize. Even if you have to see the sun come up, work it out.
-READ
Read everything. You love to read now and I hope that never changes. Read non fiction and fiction and history and anything you can get your hands on. I am sure that there will still be fancy e-readers, but just know that there is nothing like the feeling of holding an actual book in your hand. And if you love the book, buy it in hardback and keep it. I hope to pass down a great collection of books, please cherish them as I did, and even if it is uncool, pass them down to the next generation also!
-Even if we are apart I am always with you
Even on the other side of the world, I am still with you. If you are a million miles away, I am always there. When I am gone, I will always be there, in your heart.
-Fight for what you believe in
But remember that you get more flies with sugar than vinegar. Sometimes being nice is all you need to get something accomplished. If sweetness does not get it done, then find other ways. There is always someone higher and you live in a country where you are allowed to fight for things that you truly believe in. Just make sure you are fighting for the right reasons. And if you believe in something enough that you want to protest, please do. BUT, under no circumstances should you become violent or hurt others.
-Never settle
One of my favorite lines in a song is " I aint settlin for anything less than everything" and you better not. Make sure before you settle with a man, that he takes your breath away, do not settle in a job that you do not like, and never settle with friendships that are just subpar.
-Always take something as a gift when invited to someones house
This is a practice that seems to be uncommon now, but if you are invited to be a guest at someones house, always bring a gift for the hosts or a dish if it is a meal. Even if it is just something small, let them know that you appreciate that they have opened their home to you
-Wear Sunscreen
Yes a tan is pretty, but wrinkles are not. and skin cancer really is not.
-It is okay to work hard and to enjoy work
If you can work doing something that you love, then you are better off than a lot of Americans. So embrace the job and be secure in knowing that you love it. That being said, never pass up good moments, special opportunities or anything else that you may regret later, just because of a job.
-Hugs are amazing
Give them and get them whenever possible. They are great for the soul.
-Know about cars
You need to know how to change a tire, check your fluids, and change your wipers. Just because you are a girl does not exclude you from leanring how to maintain your vehicle.
-This goes for your house also
Houses are a large investment. When you have one, treat it well. Trim the bushes, keep the yard neat, and keep it clean. Repair and maintain it, no matter how hard it is. And NEVER use the excuse that you do not have a man to do it for you. That is a lame excuse that I will never hear come out of your mouth.
-What is right is not always easy, and what is easy is not always right.
Sometimes doing the right thing will be the hardest choice you make in life. Do it anyway.
-Take a bath
We forget sometimes that all we need to wash away the day is a hot bath with some candles and music and you have almost free relaxation. Pamper yourself, you deserve it.
-Always have another job before you quit the one that you are at
And do not job hop, even in high school and college. Your work history says a lot about you. If you do not like that job you are currently employed at, find a new one before you leave that one.
-Resist the urge to chop off your hair
If you want short hair, that is perfectly okay. Please make sure that it is a decision that you think long and hard about. Usually the impulse to chop your hair off (or color it something crazy) will be more about events or issues in your life that you want a change from. Then you realize after the cutting is done, things are still the same, you just have short hair. Make these decisions wisely. BUT, also remember... Hair will grow back. Do not let one bad judgement call on a hairstyle determine your self worth!
-Do things that you love and do them often
I am sure that by the time you are old enough to read this and understand all the things that I am trying to tell you, you will have heard too many times and been a part of so many adventures off of my bucketlist. Why do we, as humans, wait until we are old or dying before we make a list of all the things that we want to do. Make a list, get a hobby, decide what you like. AND DO IT! Do not let anyone stop you from this, life is too short to not do the things that you enjoy.
- Be cautious with your alcohol consumption
So many of peoples problems, issues and down points in their life come from decisions they made while under the influence of alcohol. It is legal and seems so harmless, but it has ruined more lives than you may ever be able to comprehend. Please be careful and know that you can be "cool" and "fun" and "sober" all at the same time.
- Do Not Smoke
EVER. Period. There is no point in it. Once you start it takes so much to try to quit. Please just never do it. It also makes your hair and clothes smell bad, cost money, and causes health problems.
-Be wise with your money... and your credit
When you turn 18 no one that wants to offer you a credit card is going to warn you about what a bad idea it is to take it. Be cautious with it, it is harder to repair than to destroy. Be wise with your money. Make sure and dole it out appropriately. You should always pay your savings, you should always give to the church and you should always give to other people. If someone is doing a fundraiser and asks for a donation to a legit company or cause, donate. I do not care how much money you have, you can always find $5. If you cannot afford to give that much to a charity or cause then you are doing something wrong and need to reevaluate the things that you are spending your money on.
-Don't use social media for drama
You should not put your family business, fights with your friends, or anything like that on any social media sites. Keep it to yourself and deal with it off the computer.
- Learn something everyday
Never stop being curious, never stop wanting to learn, never stop asking questions. Everyone that you meet knows something that you do not know and can give you advice or knowledge. On that note, share your knowledge with others who are curious also! Old people, foreigners, homeless people.. They all can tell you something that you did not know before.
- It is okay to change your opinion and mind.
No matter how long you have felt a certain way about something, it is okay to change. Listen to other peoples opinions and facts and then form your own opinion based on that.
- Be a leader, not a follower
Never... EVER.. do something that you do not want to do or think is wrong just because someone else is doing it or trying to convince you to. You lead the pack, and with your huge heart you will lead them in the right direction.
- Be careful what you say and do
Take some advice from your Miranda rights and remember that everything you say and do can and will be used against you. Just do not give people ammunition to use against you later. IF by some chance you do something that you are not proud of or that you do not want people to know, tell no one but your mother. I promise I will always keep all your secrets and love you anyway! That cannot be said for everyone else. Also know, that with the invention of the internet became a time when nothing you do ever really goes away. Remember that when you start to do something.
- Think before you speak
I know lots of people that brag on the fact that they do not have a filter and they say exactly what they think, and how awesome that is. That is not true. Words can and do hurt people. I am not saying do not be honest with your feelings, I just want you to think about the best way to say what you think. Picture what you are saying up on a chalkboard with your name on it for EVERYONE to see, do you still want to say it?
- If someone will gossip about someone to you, the will gossip about you to someone else
The exception to this rule is me and at least one of your friends. Hopefully you will know which ones. This works in reverse also, do not talk about people to other people, they may wonder if you do the same to them. Just try not to participate in gossip at all. There is no benefit of it and it only hurts people.
- Swallow your pride
Pride is a horrible sin that has ruined countless friendships, marriages and lives. Apologize. It wont hurt you. Sometimes an apology is not about being wrong, its about valuing the person you are apologizing to more than you value your ego.
-It is okay to ask for help
Right now you are so young and you still look at me with those big eyes and ask for help and I will always be there, just as I am now to help you. Other people will too. Do not fake it until you make it. Either know exactly what you are doing, research what you are doing until you know or ask for help.
-Do not sweat the small stuff.
Keep your cool. In traffic, when you get bad service, long lines, being put on hold. Our true personalities seem to peak at times like this. These moments are the moments that show true colors. You need to be nice to these people and during these times. You make mistakes so realize other people do to. If you go out to eat and your waitress forgets to fill your drink, maybe she is having trouble at home and is just a little sidetracked. If someone turns in front of you without a blinker, maybe they are lost and stressed because they do not know where they are. Yelling and name calling will not repair the situation and it just raises your blood pressure. Just let it roll off your back and move on. On that note, Watch how people react to traffic, slow computers and long lines. Be careful being friends with or dating someone who cannot keep their cool during these times.
-Learn how to do anything that people think a man should do
And learn to do it better. And do it. One day you will find a man who will do this stuff for you, and that is great, but do not depend on him to always be there to do it.
-Laugh at yourself
You WILL screw up, you WILL do something dumb, you WILL make silly mistakes. Its okay! Laugh at yourself, joke about it, learn from it and move on.
- Put 100% into everything you do
Do not half ass things as my dad would say. If you are telling yourself that you dont have time to do something so you are going to shortcut it, ask yourself how much more time it will take if you have to redo it. Just do it right the first time.
- Never reply when you are angry, never decide when you are sad.
Always balance out your emotions before you do these things. And for heavens sake, as I already said, do not use text or email (or whatever fancy technology you have at the time) to reply to important people about important things. Talk to them.
-When people need to talk, listen.
They need it more that you know and you may be the only ear they have to listen to them
- Do not sleep around
Men do not want someone that everyone has had. In school people may talk about you and say things about you or others, this does not mean that you have to sleep around. Guys may tell you big stories and promises to convince you that it is okay. It is not.
- I do not care how young or old you are, what time it is, or where you are if you have been drinking do not get behind the wheel and do not ride with someone who has been drinking.
If you and 100 of your friends all need a ride I will make sure it is handled. Too many young (and old) lives are lost because of drunk drivers.
-Go to college
Stay in the dorms, get good grades, pull all nighters, make memories. Remember that anything and everything that you learn from the word of God is more important than what you learn, but learn it anyway. You will not like all your classes, do your best in them anyway.
-You cannot change people, but people can change
Never get into a relationship or friendship with someone if you cannot be with them just the way they are. You wont make someone change just because you want it, but have faith that people can change if they want it bad enough.
-Keep your family close
We have always been a close family, do not let that change. Call your grandparents and great grand parents and aunts and uncles and cousins and just say hi. Go to family reunions, and if they do not have them anymore, start throwing them. Get the family together and talk about old times and make new memories. Family is all we have sometimes.
-Send Thank you cards
Send them for gifts, send them for attending dinner, send them for anything that someone did just to make you smile. Send them because someone let you cry on their shoulder or because they watched the dog while you were out of town. If in doubt, send one anyway.
-You are not better than anyone else, and no one else is better than you.
We are all the same and all so different. That is what makes us human. Embrace our differences and love people for theirs. Do not let someone else make you feel inferior. No matter what they have, what they do, or who they know! No matter our color, race, religion, lifestyle, financial status, or job... we are all the same.
-Just because you know someone, does not mean you have to agree with them
Just love them anyway!
-See the world
TRAVEL. We are such a small part of this world. See it. Go places. Take road trips. Take them alone if you have to. Stop at truck stops. Visit the locals. Take pictures. See all the silly tourist stuff, and also see all the secret jewels.
- Keep a first aid kit on you always
Always have a small first aid kit handy. Make sure you have bandaids, antibacterial ointment, tweezers, burn cream, benadryl, safety pin, gauze, dramamine, a small cloth, Pepto, tums, tylenol, shears, ace bandage, saline drops, water purification tablets and an emergency heat blanket (they come in a teeny package) you should also always have sunscreen, bug spray, and sanitizer and a small flashlight. It all sounds over prepared, and you may never need any of it, but better to safe than sorry!
-Go with your gut
It is smarter than you think
-Be careful with your pictures
Especially because of social media, anything that goes on film could go to anyone, so before you take a picture ask yourself if you would show that picture to your dad. If the answer is no, then do not take the picture. When you run for president, everything you have done will be flashed across the news.... Do not give them any ammo.
-Learn to shoot
A gun and a bow, and learn to do them both well. Also learn to fish.
-It may seem like I let you fall more than some moms let their children
That is only because I want you to be able to pick yourself up without being coddled and treated like a baby. It is just to make you a stronger person. Still know that my heart tears from my chest each time you fall. And I will always pick you up if you really need me. I just want to make sure you are tough, because to make it through this world you have to be that way.
-Abortion is murder
I will try to let you have your own thoughts and to not push too many of my opinions on you, but know this: Babies become a baby the minute it is conceived. If you are not ready for a baby, do not have sex. Killing a baby because you are not responsible enough to use protection or abstain from sex is not going to be tolerated in my household. Your friends may try to convince you otherwise, do not listen to them. There is nothing that we cannot handle together, but having an abortion is not an answer to a problem.
-Enjoy the luxuries of living in the present, but learn some of the ways of the past
Know how to can things, grow foods, and bake bread. Cook from scratch, try to eliminate some of the modern technology and do not rely on all the modern conveniences. Take the extra time and do stuff yourself. Every now and then unplug from the modern world, step back in time, and regroup.
-If you lose someone, move on
This may sound harsh. And maybe it is. Death is hard and sad, but dwelling on it and living in the shadow of that death is no kind of life. The best thing to do is get up and live for that memory. Do the things that they no longer will be able to. Carry on because they can not. Carry their memory with you, but do not just stay in their memory. It is not how they would have wanted you to be living.
-Ask your elders to tell you stories
I wish I would have asked my Poppy more questions while he was alive. I wish I could go back and have someone give my Papa a questionnaire to answer for me to read later in life. Older people have lived a long life and have seen and done many things. Its like a real life history book right in front of you. Ask your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, the parents of your friends.
-Do not be self absorbed
Even though you are my entire world, you are not the center of the universe and nothing revolves around you. Do not expect it to. Remember that when you are going through something, someone else is going through worse, when you hurt, someone somewhere hurts worse. As long as you know that you will be okay.
-Kids change everything
Do not have them until you are ready. Once you have them, put them first. Nothing is worse than seeing children suffer because their parents are too immature to give up their childish ways.
-Do not ask for or expect sympathy
It is good to be sympathetic, and getting sympathy from someone feels nice, but please do not ask for it by constantly telling people all the bad and how this and that happened to you and so on...
-Try new foods
There are more cultures out there than just our own, and they all cook different things in different ways. Try some of it! Some of it seems disgusting, but remember, to some people cheeseburgers look gross.
-Always see the positive in everyone and everything.
-Try not to rush
Life goes by too quickly anyway. Slow down and enjoy it!
-I will always love you
No matter what you do or say that will never change. One day you will have kids and you will know this feeling. And when you are old and holding your baby feeling that ultimate love, know that I feel that same way for you.
